Friendship or something more

Today i thought that many things are happening and sometime you want to record them. So here i am writing again. Well, i believe that anybody and everybody tries to be sweet or create an image like that in front of others. But if you genuinely do something good for others, the feeling is just unbeatable. I think i got many opportunities today to just feel exactly like that and i took them with both hands so at the end of the day i feel very happy. One of my colleagues needed someone to talk to, i was fortunate to be the one there. The person went back home smiling :) Another colleague and a recently made friend needed me to help when she was leaving the job and i think one should never move away in those situations and i dint. Then i came back giving company to another friend in an umbrella back home as it was raining very heavily, remembering some old days and got a chance to cherish those moments again. So a good day with smile on my face and the story moves on. 

So now Mukul moves on to 8th standard and a dream in his mind to achieve bigger things is very brightly lit up. He wakes up early everyday with amazing routine, studies, sports, tv and family. But as you know, it is the age where the horizon grows beyond family and even friends. A new term called girl friends come into the picture. So Mukul used to sit with Poonam in his class and another friend johny used to sit with Deeksha. Mukul used to always fight with Poonam, probably it was because she tried to tease him and like that all the time. He never understood why she did that but may be she liked teasing him, may be she enjoyed his company. His focus never let him think that way. Well she stayed near his place so they went back home in same school bus. Many a times she would try and sit with him, and he would shoo her away. But till when was he going to suceed, so one day she sat with him just to again tease. He said go away, this seat is not for you. She said i will sit with you, close to you, whatever you want to do you can do. She did not move. Than Mukul suddenly realised that people might think wrong about him. He was always shy by nature and this scene did not come easily to him. So he tried moving away but she blocked the way. He reached home, thought for sometime then went off to sleep. The routine was continuing for him, when he also started liking her unknowingly. He could never tell her as he was like repulsive to this whole idea of girl friend and he was still a kid. In the meanwhile, many couples were getting formed, he was made the vice captain of the class which grew his value in the class. There was loads of chutzpah happening with annual day coming up. Lots and lots of preparations, class bunking and fun. So there were dancing groups to be formed. Mukul was never into this but since he wanted to do something beyond studies he volunteered, he got paired opposite poonam which he never wanted. The whole dancing practice was a wonderful scene. Both in front seemed to hate each other, but somewhere if one fell while dancing other would put his/her hand to support. Somehow Mukul was becoming less repulsive towards Poonam and infact started caring about her more and more although he was not one of expressive kinds. Poonam might have felt the same affection but she also thought that it could not happen, how could Mukul change. Well, finally the night came when they were to dance together. Knowing that Mukul was still not very good in the dancing, Poonam made sure that whole thing went well, infact she gave all the confidence to him. People applauded and both of them came much closer. Still it wasnt the era of facebook or even mobiles, so there love was not going to prosper so fast. One day an incident happened, funny for many but for Mukul a bit embarassing. Well, while playing football during lunch break he tore his trouser and it was not a small tear but the whole thing had split into two halves almost. When he realised what had happened he couldnt believe it and nor could he tell to others. Well, he got his shirt out of his trouser to cover some part but that wouldnt help anybit. Next class was games period and he would only be sitting next to the tree watching others play. So that time, Poonam came to him and asked him why arent u playing, well if he couldn't tell anyone than how could he tell her. She insisted "what happened tell me", well he thought its better to tell her than to keep mum and act like a child. When she heard it, she initially burst into laughter but soon she stopped and asked him to accompany her. They went to the medical room where all the thing related to stitching were also there. She asked him to remove the pant and sit behind the curtains. He shyly removed the trouser and gave it to her. She stitched it together and gave it back to him. He came out wearing them, and smiled at her. She smiled back and he said thankyou so much. This strengthened their feelings for each other. No more silly jokes and pulling each others legs but some sweet nice eye to eye chats. Mukul would come back home think about her for some time and then get back to studies. He thought that was something happening to him again/ What was it? was it just friendship or something more? Same thoughts were having rounds in Poonam's mind. They started having lunch together, spending more time with each other and other friends gazing at them. But as one would say, not many happy moments last forever. Exams were coming, it was time when Mukul would not think about anything beyond science,maths and english. It was the final exams and this time he was trying his best to top the class. Well, he determinedly gave all the exams. Finally the day came when result was to be announced, he reached school, the teacher saw him and smiled and told another student's parents that "see thats what i call a hard working kid. He has topped the class and is very sincere" and simultaneously congratulated him. He was very happy and small tears rolled in his eyes, but a small distance away was Poonam sitting alone. He went to her and asked, hey what happened, how was your result? She did not reply, he again asked. She said i am leaving the school. Mukul was stunned, and he replied what happened, why you leaving school, where are you joining tell me, i will also join there. She replied, i am leaving the city, going to Jaipur. He became quiet, did not utter a word and went back home. All the cheer, happiness and smile had gone somewhere far away and what was left were few remembrances about Poonam. They met for the last time nearby, he gave her a chocolate and wished her very good luck in life. He knew they might not meet again, but the time they had spent together will always be there to remember.

Here ended the 8th standard. A romantic story but nonetheless, Mukul knew he was too young for this and the goal was far away to be achieved. He moved onto 9th standard with the better knowledge of love and affection.

Understanding affection

Well as always something from what happened today in my life. As it is 1st april, i became a big fool to a girl who i value a lot right now. Don't know why :P but still i do, probably thats why fell to the prank. May be i realised that a she had a critical place in list of my friends and i could not afford to lose her and so i faultered. But i learnt a lesson which according to her is, we alwaz learn from all the pranks, and today that was.. never give so much of value to a person in your life that imagining a world without that person becomes impossible. I think it happened at the right time. So will take care next time. Ohke... so lets move on to Mukul.....

7th standard Mukul is doing really well in studies and his passion right now is to continue in this regard whatsover the circumstances may be. So the class gets reshuffled and few of his friends move away, few come back along with him. So he tries to focus maximum in class all the time.... where all around him children or his friends are learning things of adulthood which is still way ahead. He goes back home everyday sleeps for sometime, wakes up completes his homework, studies his favorite subjects science and maths and plays cricket in the evening. As he has always been shy so does not play much of games with girls in his area but recently, he has started getting involved in so called girls game gallery. There is a girl called Nisha who is 2 years senior than him, again senior whom he talks often too coz he thinks that she is also of that studious type which he likes. So they and other children play gallery often in evenings and he goes back home and sleeps by 10. The life is usually normal nothing big about that.... but he is at his sincerest best. I mean he doesnt know the ills of life, hasnt seen something bad till now and thus believes in everything. But in all the time.... he has started spending more time in front of mirror. Yaah he has, but he makes sure that when he does that nobody else is around or else he makes his way away quietly. He has started looking at girls, still not sure of why he likes if he could talk to them. Shies away when he gets an opportunity but on the other hand he is dying to be around them. So the quarterly exams arrive, and to his standards, he does really well. He gets 2nd position in class and it is the best he has ever done till now. He is very happy goes back home tells his father who appreciates and tells him that you can do better. He likes that, he has a goal and wants to achieve it.
 Meanwhile diwali comes up, the cracker bursting time. Happiness all around India is all lighted up. But something wrong happens, something which he has not experienced before. His father break his leg trying to fire a cracker. He is shell shocked initially but then runs and calls people for help. Well diwali gets over and his father has a plastered leg. He can't move for atleast next 6 weeks. All the family member have to take care but he makes sure that he is alwayz there for his father even if it is 1 am in the night. He sleeps near him and wakes up hearing slightest of sounds. Fortunately his father gets well and the time passes by. His sincerety and affection which he had never realised get reflected in him. He knows that how much he loves his family and is always going to be there for them. I child who is 12 years old is getting to know what love and affection is takes more than just routine but an incident of a bigger proportion but he comes out as winner.

I would end the story here only for 7th standard coz there was not much of fling or anything which happened but sweet incident was this when he got chance to take care of his family. Another part of Mukul or i think you can say another feature of human being that is emotions, love, care and so on. 8th Standard is going to bring lots of oomph stories... and some comedy of errors. So i look forward to writing that.... :)

Infetuation

Just a mention before the story, today... i discovered something which did not help me a bit. For sometime i thought may be things never pan out well. But then as the day progressed, i saw it as a way of god telling me that just do your bit and forget about the results. If you are a good human being, everything will fall in place.

Back to Mukul, Well so as he was reaping the fruits of this teenage, it was not a smooth sailing for him. He was seeing that girl all around him, would spend all his time sitting in front of his gate to get one glimpse of the her and when she will pass through, his heart would again start beating fast. This process continued for sometime. Then one day mukul was playing cricket again trying to get the ball in her house when he saw her outside the house. There were two kids who would be around 9 years of age along with her. The kids looked interested in cricket and suddenly Mukul's brain went into the 5th gear working all round. He suddenly went to the kids and asked them, hey would you also like to play with us. In his whole life he had never had so much confidence to talk to any stranger but here he was standing in front of a girl he liked and two boys he had not seen before and asking them to play. Well, he suceeded in his venture and in fact got to talk to the girl as well but only for a minute or so to get her permission. Now Mukul had thought this whole thing a long way already. He played with them everyday and gradually got to know more about their didi, her name Nitika. Now still there was lot more to be discovered.
He had to somehow get into conversation with her, but at that age among children, only two kind of relation exist, didi or bhaiya which Mukul never wanted is least to say.

This thing continued for 2 weeks, when once he saw Nitika going somewhere with books. There was some english writing competition and he found out that he could actually meet her again there. So he decided to go there and participate. Unfortunately he was a bit late and made it their when she had already left. He was bit dejected but still, something is better than nothing. He looked at her answersheet. All her details were there on that paper. Well to Mukul's disliking the data was not quite good. She was in 8th Standard and easily 2 years elder than him. He was shocked that how could she be that older, and the second thought which came to his mind was that how could he fall for such an elder girl. Well that day he got to know another thing, love or liking, or attraction or infetuation is way beyong the boundary of age, or any other thing. Its something which just happens and you can never plan.

Mukul took his steps back and may be his heart also understood the situation and he went back to his ownself not thinking about her anymore. He saw her quite a few times but never again that heart pounded again. Eventually when after four years he saw her once again somewhere, he wondered how could he have ever fallen for her even and that story lasted that time.

Mukul was becoming more sincere in his studies, and sitting with girls making life awkard for him, made him focus more on studies and less on notoriety. He eventually ended the class standing 4th in the class. Big achievement for him, so our sincere man was on his way to fulfilling his dreams.

7th standard is going to be more fun..... coz its just the beginning of youth, there is more twist to come up.

First step towards adolescence

Just few lines before the story... i felt in love once in life..... or i truly believed in power of love just once..... but why does that feeling never goes away that u will fall again. Thats the beauty of life.

Well so getting back to the story, as Mukul was getting into 6th standard, he had promised himself that this time, he is going to study well. In his dreams, he alwayz imagined the time when he would get applauded by all his teachers. But he never suceeded. So now it was time for new class, new session and the warming weather. New books and new teachers and new looks. Many students in the class had changed their hairstyles suddenly, few tried to look like Shahrukh khan, few tried the Sunny Deol look and rest in between. Mukul could not understand that why all this was happening. I mean, what had changed in span of sometime. Well, he would soon find out.
Lunch came and he went on to play like all other friends and waited for the final bell to ring.
The day was over and he was back to home. His mother asked, how was your first day in a new class? He replied was fine. New books and new friends. Mother said "Girlfriends"?

Mukul was bemused for a minute and replied what?? His mother smiled and went away. He could still not understand what was happening. Although this phase is gradual but it was suddenly coming to light for him, and he did not have any idea. Soon it was a regular affair to find these kind of things. It went on, and soon..... the teacher had different ideas.
In all the time of my life, i have never been able to understand why girls like to sit with girls in class and same with the boys.... i mean why can't they be buddies to each other. Well that is what his teacher proposed. From now onwards, one boy and girl will sit together. It was a bit awkard for few, for Mukul it was a bit more complex. Well, the things went as they were. He was focusing on studies and wanted to do something special this time. When rest of the world around was having different ideas, Mukul was into his own world till, the summer holidays arrived.

First feeling :
Summer holidays are alwaz good. You get to spend sometime at home. Have fun, learn new things and play cricket. Mukul woke up early morning and went to play cricket everyday. He would come back, have a good breakfast and would visit relatives and friends to complete the day, but he never knew that all these things would go away from him suddenly and he would find himself in a new life. It was evening around 6 p.m not yet dark when he was playing cricket in the nearby lane. As usually happens the ball went to neighbours house and as Mukul had hit the shot, he had to get it back. A bit afraid he knocked on the doors of the neighbours, whom he had never talked to or seen much of. Offcourse he spent most of his time away or at home never meeting people around. He hesistantly tickled with the door, but nobody came out. He rang the bell and waited. The door finally opened as the locks turned. Reluctantly he thought of speaking about the ball, but before that... his eyes fell on the girl who opened the gate. Nothing special about her, a little bit dusky, thin cheeks, cute and smiling face with peaceful serenity surrounding it. Immediately, mukul felt something in his belly, his heartbeat starting firing cylinders and he felt a new kind of pain followed by a blushing smile and a bemused face. She said, hey what happened? He did not speak anything. She said hello?? he woke up from his dream and realised he was supposed to get the ball. He asked her "actually our ball got into you house, can we please get it?? " She said yaah please. Mukul, smiled and went to get the ball, but still he could not understand what had actually happened with him. He got the ball, came back and said thanku to her in humblest of tones never seen before. Standing outside were his friends, and staring him. He looked at them, gave the ball to them and said "why u looking like this at me??" All of them replied in unison,, nothing man.... nothing and went away smiling. He still was confused at everything what had happened. He went back home after playing cricket, but it was not just cricket but lot more that he had experienced that day.
He went on the bed, and lied there for sometime closing his eyes. Whenever he did that, only one face came in front of him. The same girl he had seen today while getting the ball. His heartbeat again started rising, and he knew something was changing. He was attracted towards that girl and he did not know what to do or how to handle it. He realised that why his friends has started setting their hairs up, and started dressing smartly. He went to the mirror and saw his face for half an hour and then used the comb. He discovered, he was no more a small kid, but an adolescent growing upto teenage looking into this beautiful phase of life.

That sit for now.... will continue with Mukul in next blog of mine.... lets see how he pursues the matter about the girl. Does he succeed with understanding his feelings for her or not.

So as i was saying probably i will try write something or some story which has some starting and a flow. Before that.... i would just like to say that sometime i feel there are so many things you dont understand......or are unexplainable.... i mean why we sometime flow with the tide although we know its not going to take us anywhere great but still we just continue....and thus we make mistakes. well let it be..coz on the positive side..... the tide also provides a direction for sometime atleast.

There are many stories which we read, see and experience around us. I mean every interaction with somebody leads to a story. So let me try write about a man's journey through his life. It might be really boring so i am just writing for the sake of writing something whatever comes to my mind... but lets see if i can create something interesting.

So as Shakespeare has very well described the 7 stages of a man's life i will try to take you through the more interesting stages through an example.

Well, there was a boy named Mukul born and brought up in delhi. Being more inclined towards studies, he used to spent most of his time there but he also had interest in cricket and was always trying to learn something new.

He was somehow a bit faster than other students in maths and could solve the problems before anybody else could. As might any talented person fall for, he became little complacent and would never bother to spend some time with his favorite subject. Well as a result he managed a meagre 70 out of 100 in final exams and was way below his friends. He felt a little bad but probably there was something else happening in his life which was transforming him.

We all know that how children start growing faster around the age of 11 and then reach their teenage life. Its a big change and a challenge in itself. Mukul was beginning to experience a change in his thinking. He was starting to feel attracted towards girls or somehow find more interest there. There was nothing odd about it but sometimes these small things could actually decide what a person grows up to become. His shy, quite studious nature was actually not letting him enjoy the transition. He could not say much to others that how he felt for girls as he had always been someone to be associated with books, and shyness. But now things were changing and it was imperative for him to take the call and move ahead.

He managed to scamper through to 6th standard but just managed it on boundary. His teacher told him in the last meeting that "son, you are very bright and sincere. You have loads of talent to reach the sky. But if you don't focus everything will go in vain"

At his age, he was too young to understand the meaning of those lines, but probably at sometime he would realise their value.

Mukul went into the 6th standard with new books and new friends. Everybody likes something new and so it was some fun time. Apart from studies, there was something else new taking place in his life. Something which would bring that funny smile to the face. That first step towards adolescence and he was steping towards it.

Days starting routine

So, I was just going to sleep, when i thought why not write something, anything for that matter. Probably the days events or something funny. Remember, everything here is fictitious and any resemblance to any incident or person is just coincidental ;)

So as i have been so lazy these days.... never willing to wake up before 10 a.m till the time there is loud noise from the bathroom (my dear friend taking bath) and i know that my number is coming. There was a time or probably there would be a time when i would again start waking up at 6 a.m and breath the fresh air... have some gym trim and feel enlightened. But for now it is the way it is... my lazyness on the crawl.

So the routine stands at waking up around 10, taking bath, rushing down to office, having breakfast which in itself is a battle of mind and heart. I know that fruit salad would be so nutritious and good for health, on the other hand the yummy taste of egg sandwich just blows my mind off. So finally i take a midway.. kind of brunch with the sandwich and light meal around 3.

I like how the office is designed to fulfill all the needs of an employee. There is a big cafeteria, alongside is the gym. Moving further there is a small indoor sports room which is never vacant. Its mostly fun at work but when it is about work, i am talkin of some serious stuff.

So although not much i wrote here... but hopefully i will try to discover a journey through this blog. Lets see how much i succeed... Its just the beginning though. Probably next time i should start with a background and carry it forward and bring some action, drama, comedy into it although i might not do so well initially but will try to improve :) Gudnite for now

I WISH I COULD

Everyone dreams of something in life but I dreamt of a big list. So here starts my story “I wish I could”
(Note : Everything mentioned is part of my imagination and does not concern anybody in real life )
At one of those school events, I met a beautiful girl. I thought that if only I could get a chance to talk to her …and there I go. Dreaming about us sitting together at a pleasant place, looking into each others’ eyes and my friends looking at us in complete awe. But the dream ended there and what I recollect now is that, someone else whisked her away; leaving me thinking “I wish I could take the first step”.
The exams were closing down on my head like the mosquito that keeps saying “Give me your blood”. But as always, my mind had room for every other thought, except studies. Topping the list was what most boys would have blamed for ruining some exam or the other of their student life, the Cricket World Cup!! India lost the match to Australia and I lost all the time I had. There I was staring at the paper and scratching my head. The answers just didn’t strike. But yes, that didn’t stop me from doing what I was best at!! I started day-dreaming about being praised by my teacher for ranking first in class, with my head high and my peers looking up to me. Suddenly the bell rings, the exam is over and so is my dream. Yet Again, I imagines if I had studied a little more rather than watching the match. My dream partially came true though, my teacher did congratulate me for managing to scamper through the paper once again.
But something changed time…This time I decided that I am going to fulfill my dreams and this wish list is going to become reality.
I planned to participate in the debate competition. The topic was, ‘Can India become the super power?’ I considered it a very simple topic, and was confident that I can go up there and speak on it at length. The day arrived and it was my turn. While climbing up the little steps to the stage, an unexpected realization struck me. I had been out of touch with newspaper for a whole year and had been on social networks instead. Suddenly my feet started shaking. There I was, standing in front of more than a thousand people. It was as if the whole country had their eyebrows raised at me and my uncaring ways. I could not speak well and failed miserably. Questions were hurled at me and I couldn’t answer any. It was because of the deep embarrassment that a lesson that finally hit me.
I went back quietly into my room and sat there motionless for an hour. I asked myself – what is the difference between me and that boy who was able to approach the girl. How did my classmate stand first in class? Why wasn’t I the best debater? And all of the questions had a single answer “I wish I could”. I had always wished but could never take the initiative to actually do it. I could chat for hours on gtalk but could not speak for a minute on India.
But now I knew that the only way I could succeed was by working my way ahead. These thoughts changed my approach and I dedicatedly started working towards my goals. My preparedness gave me my confidence.
I made the upcoming exams my top priority. It wasn’t easy initially but with time I started concentrating. The day dreaming was over and it was time for some action. I wrote the exams well and was waiting for the results. It was time when I again crossed swords with my teacher but this time she looked a little shocked and bemused. She handed me my report card and said, “How did you come first this time? Did you cheat?” I smiled and said “I came first because I stopped cheating my own self”. Well, I thought I could grant myself some filmi accolade after all the hard work!! Since then I have always studied hard.
Next on my ‘hit list’ was a debate again. I had been following multiple newspapers for the past few months and regularly going through various news sites. This time the topic was – “nuclear deal - right or wrong”. I geared up in two days and was there at the stage to face the same set of audience. I spoke firmly and took all the questions came my way well. I won my much awaited first prize and huge applauds.
I was a changed person now, more focused and believing in karma, thus reaping benefits. Now came the girl I liked. Although it did not require any preparations but it needed the confidence to approach her. I just went up to her, asked for a minute of hers and I told her about my feelings. Quiet for some time, she replied that she too had always liked me but didn’t know if I even know her. I was stunned! At that moment, I could see all my plans working out for me, and my dreams coming true…
Through one of the many times I had stumbled, I learned the lesson that will always keep me on track. When you wish something, don’t just keep it to the list of “I wish I could..”. Get up and do what you must to get it!!